Joseph Andrews, Vol. 1 Read online

  CHAPTER XVIII.

  _The history of Betty the chambermaid, and an account of what occasionedthe violent scene in the preceding chapter._

  Betty, who was the occasion of all this hurry, had some good qualities.She had good-nature, generosity, and compassion, but unfortunately, herconstitution was composed of those warm ingredients which, though thepurity of courts or nunneries might have happily controuled them, wereby no means able to endure the ticklish situation of a chambermaid at aninn; who is daily liable to the solicitations of lovers of allcomplexions; to the dangerous addresses of fine gentlemen of the army,who sometimes are obliged to reside with them a whole year together;and, above all, are exposed to the caresses of footmen, stage-coachmen,and drawers; all of whom employ the whole artillery of kissing,flattering, bribing, and every other weapon which is to be found in thewhole armoury of love, against them.

  Betty, who was but one-and-twenty, had now lived three years in thisdangerous situation, during which she had escaped pretty well. An ensignof foot was the first person who made an impression on her heart; he didindeed raise a flame in her which required the care of a surgeonto cool.

  While she burnt for him, several others burnt for her. Officers of thearmy, young gentlemen travelling the western circuit, inoffensivesquires, and some of graver character, were set a-fire by her charms!

  At length, having perfectly recovered the effects of her first unhappypassion, she seemed to have vowed a state of perpetual chastity. She waslong deaf to all the sufferings of her lovers, till one day, at aneighbouring fair, the rhetoric of John the hostler, with a new strawhat and a pint of wine, made a second conquest over her.

  She did not, however, feel any of those flames on this occasion whichhad been the consequence of her former amour; nor, indeed, those otherill effects which prudent young women very justly apprehend from tooabsolute an indulgence to the pressing endearments of their lovers. Thislatter, perhaps, was a little owing to her not being entirely constantto John, with whom she permitted Tom Whipwell the stage-coachman, andnow and then a handsome young traveller, to share her favours.

  Mr Tow-wouse had for some time cast the languishing eyes of affection onthis young maiden. He had laid hold on every opportunity of sayingtender things to her, squeezing her by the hand, and sometimes kissingher lips; for, as the violence of his passion had considerably abated toMrs Tow-wouse, so, like water, which is stopt from its usual current inone place, it naturally sought a vent in another. Mrs Tow-wouse isthought to have perceived this abatement, and, probably, it added verylittle to the natural sweetness of her temper; for though she was astrue to her husband as the dial to the sun, she was rather more desirousof being shone on, as being more capable of feeling his warmth.

  Ever since Joseph's arrival, Betty had conceived an extraordinary likingto him, which discovered itself more and more as he grew better andbetter; till that fatal evening, when, as she was warming his bed, herpassion grew to such a height, and so perfectly mastered both hermodesty and her reason, that, after many fruitless hints and slyinsinuations, she at last threw down the warming-pan, and, embracing himwith great eagerness, swore he was the handsomest creature she hadever seen.

  Joseph, in great confusion, leapt from her, and told her he was sorry tosee a young woman cast off all regard to modesty; but she had gone toofar to recede, and grew so very indecent, that Joseph was obliged,contrary to his inclination, to use some violence to her; and, takingher in his arms, he shut her out of the room, and locked the door.

  How ought man to rejoice that his chastity is always in his own power;that, if he hath sufficient strength of mind, he hath always a competentstrength of body to defend himself, and cannot, like a poor weak woman,be ravished against his will!

  Betty was in the most violent agitation at this disappointment. Rage andlust pulled her heart, as with two strings, two different ways; onemoment she thought of stabbing Joseph; the next, of taking him in herarms, and devouring him with kisses; but the latter passion was far moreprevalent. Then she thought of revenging his refusal on herself; but,whilst she was engaged in this meditation, happily death presentedhimself to her in so many shapes, of drowning, hanging, poisoning, &c.,that her distracted mind could resolve on none. In this perturbation ofspirit, it accidentally occurred to her memory that her master's bed wasnot made; she therefore went directly to his room, where he happened atthat time to be engaged at his bureau. As soon as she saw him, sheattempted to retire; but he called her back, and, taking her by thehand, squeezed her so tenderly, at the same time whispering so many softthings into her ears, and then pressed her so closely with his kisses,that the vanquished fair one, whose passions were already raised, andwhich were not so whimsically capricious that one man only could laythem, though, perhaps, she would have rather preferred that one--thevanquished fair one quietly submitted, I say, to her master's will, whohad just attained the accomplishment of his bliss when Mrs Tow-wouseunexpectedly entered the room, and caused all that confusion which wehave before seen, and which it is not necessary, at present, to take anyfarther notice of; since, without the assistance of a single hint fromus, every reader of any speculation or experience, though not marriedhimself, may easily conjecture that it concluded with the discharge ofBetty, the submission of Mr Tow-wouse, with some things to be performedon his side by way of gratitude for his wife's goodness in beingreconciled to him, with many hearty promises never to offend any more inthe like manner; and, lastly, his quietly and contentedly bearing to bereminded of his transgressions, as a kind of penance, once or twice aday during the residue of his life.

  BOOK II.