History of Tom Jones, a Foundling Read online

  Chapter xi.

  Containing many rules, and some examples, concerning falling in love:descriptions of beauty, and other more prudential inducements tomatrimony.

  It hath been observed, by wise men or women, I forget which, that allpersons are doomed to be in love once in their lives. No particularseason is, as I remember, assigned for this; but the age at which MissBridget was arrived, seems to me as proper a period as any to be fixedon for this purpose: it often, indeed, happens much earlier; but whenit doth not, I have observed it seldom or never fails about this time.Moreover, we may remark that at this season love is of a more seriousand steady nature than what sometimes shows itself in the youngerparts of life. The love of girls is uncertain, capricious, and sofoolish that we cannot always discover what the young lady would beat; nay, it may almost be doubted whether she always knows thisherself.

  Now we are never at a loss to discern this in women about forty; foras such grave, serious, and experienced ladies well know their ownmeaning, so it is always very easy for a man of the least sagacity todiscover it with the utmost certainty.

  Miss Bridget is an example of all these observations. She had not beenmany times in the captain's company before she was seized with thispassion. Nor did she go pining and moping about the house, like apuny, foolish girl, ignorant of her distemper: she felt, she knew, andshe enjoyed, the pleasing sensation, of which, as she was certain itwas not only innocent but laudable, she was neither afraid norashamed.

  And to say the truth, there is, in all points, great differencebetween the reasonable passion which women at this age conceivetowards men, and the idle and childish liking of a girl to a boy,which is often fixed on the outside only, and on things of littlevalue and no duration; as on cherry-cheeks, small, lily-white hands,sloe-black eyes, flowing locks, downy chins, dapper shapes; nay,sometimes on charms more worthless than these, and less the party'sown; such are the outward ornaments of the person, for which men arebeholden to the taylor, the laceman, the periwig-maker, the hatter,and the milliner, and not to nature. Such a passion girls may well beashamed, as they generally are, to own either to themselves or others.

  The love of Miss Bridget was of another kind. The captain owed nothingto any of these fop-makers in his dress, nor was his person much morebeholden to nature. Both his dress and person were such as, had theyappeared in an assembly or a drawing-room, would have been thecontempt and ridicule of all the fine ladies there. The former ofthese was indeed neat, but plain, coarse, ill-fancied, and out offashion. As for the latter, we have expressly described it above. Sofar was the skin on his cheeks from being cherry-coloured, that youcould not discern what the natural colour of his cheeks was, theybeing totally overgrown by a black beard, which ascended to his eyes.His shape and limbs were indeed exactly proportioned, but so largethat they denoted the strength rather of a ploughman than any other.His shoulders were broad beyond all size, and the calves of his legslarger than those of a common chairman. In short, his whole personwanted all that elegance and beauty which is the very reverse ofclumsy strength, and which so agreeably sets off most of our finegentlemen; being partly owing to the high blood of their ancestors,viz., blood made of rich sauces and generous wines, and partly to anearly town education.

  Though Miss Bridget was a woman of the greatest delicacy of taste, yetsuch were the charms of the captain's conversation, that she totallyoverlooked the defects of his person. She imagined, and perhaps verywisely, that she should enjoy more agreeable minutes with the captainthan with a much prettier fellow; and forewent the consideration ofpleasing her eyes, in order to procure herself much more solidsatisfaction.

  The captain no sooner perceived the passion of Miss Bridget, in whichdiscovery he was very quick-sighted, than he faithfully returned it.The lady, no more than her lover, was remarkable for beauty. I wouldattempt to draw her picture, but that is done already by a more ablemaster, Mr Hogarth himself, to whom she sat many years ago, and hathbeen lately exhibited by that gentleman in his print of a winter'smorning, of which she was no improper emblem, and may be seen walking(for walk she doth in the print) to Covent Garden church, with astarved foot-boy behind carrying her prayer-book.

  The captain likewise very wisely preferred the more solid enjoymentshe expected with this lady, to the fleeting charms of person. He wasone of those wise men who regard beauty in the other sex as a veryworthless and superficial qualification; or, to speak more truly, whorather chuse to possess every convenience of life with an ugly woman,than a handsome one without any of those conveniences. And having avery good appetite, and but little nicety, he fancied he should playhis part very well at the matrimonial banquet, without the sauce ofbeauty.

  To deal plainly with the reader, the captain, ever since his arrival,at least from the moment his brother had proposed the match to him,long before he had discovered any flattering symptoms in Miss Bridget,had been greatly enamoured; that is to say, of Mr Allworthy's houseand gardens, and of his lands, tenements, and hereditaments; of allwhich the captain was so passionately fond, that he would mostprobably have contracted marriage with them, had he been obliged tohave taken the witch of Endor into the bargain.

  As Mr Allworthy, therefore, had declared to the doctor that he neverintended to take a second wife, as his sister was his nearestrelation, and as the doctor had fished out that his intentions were tomake any child of hers his heir, which indeed the law, without hisinterposition, would have done for him; the doctor and his brotherthought it an act of benevolence to give being to a human creature,who would be so plentifully provided with the most essential means ofhappiness. The whole thoughts, therefore, of both the brothers werehow to engage the affections of this amiable lady.

  But fortune, who is a tender parent, and often doth more for herfavourite offspring than either they deserve or wish, had been soindustrious for the captain, that whilst he was laying schemes toexecute his purpose, the lady conceived the same desires with himself,and was on her side contriving how to give the captain properencouragement, without appearing too forward; for she was a strictobserver of all rules of decorum. In this, however, she easilysucceeded; for as the captain was always on the look-out, no glance,gesture, or word escaped him.

  The satisfaction which the captain received from the kind behaviour ofMiss Bridget, was not a little abated by his apprehensions of MrAllworthy; for, notwithstanding his disinterested professions, thecaptain imagined he would, when he came to act, follow the example ofthe rest of the world, and refuse his consent to a match sodisadvantageous, in point of interest, to his sister. From what oraclehe received this opinion, I shall leave the reader to determine: buthowever he came by it, it strangely perplexed him how to regulate hisconduct so as at once to convey his affection to the lady, and toconceal it from her brother. He at length resolved to take all privateopportunities of making his addresses; but in the presence of MrAllworthy to be as reserved and as much upon his guard as waspossible; and this conduct was highly approved by the brother.

  He soon found means to make his addresses, in express terms, to hismistress, from whom he received an answer in the proper form, viz.:the answer which was first made some thousands of years ago, and whichhath been handed down by tradition from mother to daughter ever since.If I was to translate this into Latin, I should render it by these twowords, _Nolo Episcopari_: a phrase likewise of immemorial use onanother occasion.

  The captain, however he came by his knowledge, perfectly wellunderstood the lady, and very soon after repeated his application withmore warmth and earnestness than before, and was again, according todue form, rejected; but as he had increased in the eagerness of hisdesires, so the lady, with the same propriety, decreased in theviolence of her refusal.

  Not to tire the reader, by leading him through every scene of thiscourtship (which, though in the opinion of a certain great author, itis the pleasantest scene of life to the actor, is, perhaps, as dulland tiresome as any whatever to the audience), the captain made hisadvances in form, the citadel was defended i
n form, and at length, inproper form, surrendered at discretion.

  During this whole time, which filled the space of near a month, thecaptain preserved great distance of behaviour to his lady in thepresence of the brother; and the more he succeeded with her inprivate, the more reserved was he in public. And as for the lady, shehad no sooner secured her lover than she behaved to him before companywith the highest degree of indifference; so that Mr Allworthy musthave had the insight of the devil (or perhaps some of his worsequalities) to have entertained the least suspicion of what was goingforward.